Local Hen Night Debauchery Busted by Corrupt Police
DREAM LOVE ISLAND, 24 AUGUST – Police forces descended on the KamaSutra Exotic Dance and Strip Club last Friday in response to anonymous late night calls from local neighbours complaining about the “raging debauchery” in a neighbouring parcel.
Just when the bachelorette party was getting truly out-of-hand, PC Vinnie Mellison responded to the public disturbance intent on putting a lid on things. Despite his protestations, he soon however changed his mind, and joined in on the party by stripping down, whipping out his night-stick, and proceeded to do his part to represent Second Life’s Finest.
Sources report that the lead up to this travesty of law enforcement was set off by infamous musical sex-machine DJ Arawn Skeldergate, who was determined to show his Hen Party Guests “a good sexy time, Arawn-style”.
Held for questioning later that night, the clearly inebriated Skeldergate was exhausted, but tight-lipped. “I only provide a much desired service to my sexy sweeties. I do hope they enjoyed it :p”, he said with a wink.
Guests called it “a non-stop aural feast of popular electronic music”, in which Skeldergate seems to specialise.
Skeldergate did, however, decide to broaden the scope of his services that evening by dancing on a table with little more than his Chippendale’s cuff and bow tie.
Only further serving to titilate the party guests into reckless abandon was the notoriously sexy male dancer Captain Schorr (also known as the Silver Fox),who sources say initially appeared in a Morning Suit, which he eventually discarded to reveal a de rigueur Union Jack thong beneath.
Intent on tempting the bride-to-be with his well-endowed charms, Schorr was quoted in saying “Welcome aboard :)” when the bride was nearly forcibly encouraged by her bridesmaids and other guests to sit on his lap.
Contrary to rumours virally spreading over social media networks that night and over the next few days following a night that will live in infamy, sources close to the couple insist that the wedding between Gwen Finlayson and Aeriq Ravenheart will continue as planned.
Canary Beck, KamaSutra’s owner, upon being threatened to be booked for Disturbing the Peace, said she had no previous knowledge of the planned activities that night.
“I don’t even know most of these people!” she protested.
It was later revealed that Beck is Finlayson’s Maid of Honour. Further investigations revealed that the mobile number of the anonymous calls that led to PC Mellison’s arrival matched the number of the mobile in which these photos were stored.
Beck, and her associates Harvey Crabsticks and Marv Prieto, are now under investigation for conspiring to make prank calls to emergency services to promote the notoriety of their Club.
Mellison has since been suspended from active duty.
Whether criminal charges will follow are still unclear.